So one of the ways of doing that is to limit my contact with negative people and to increase my contact with positive people, to bring me joy and happiness.
Quality people? There are a lot of shitty things that happen in the world and happen to people. Mental illness can be one of those things. These are informed by my professional experience as a former pharmacist and mental health nurse, as well as my lived experience of major depressive disorder. My goal with Mental Health Home is to challenge mental illness stigma and provide a safe space for open dialogue to empower others to share their voices. View all posts by Ashley L.
I find people can usually rationalise their own self-interest. Makes it easier to dump anyone who falls ill, or becomes depressed, for example. In regards to negative people, they help us to develop a stronger personality; for example, a person has the ability to develop self-restraint when they are around someone who is highly annoying. Whereas, a weak-minded individual would quickly get themselves into trouble by creating more conflict with an annoying person by getting into a fight with them.
Because some of those negative people are comprised of our family, friends, relatives and co-workers, etcetera.
Definitely a quote I may use myself!! Yes, there are grumpy people everywhere but we choose who we interact with. We choose who we text message. We choose how we interpret what people say to us and either use it to wallow in misery or become resilient. We choose what social media to consume. We choose what books we read or not. We can listen to negative news or we can listen to an uplifting podcast. Feed your mind with nutritious content instead of junky content.
We definitely make our own choices. I agree with you. Great post! I know a good vibes only person, and Even with my level of positivity… I do not engage. Bruce Lipton and Eldon Taylor… too many to mention really. Ugh, the law of attraction. Tragedy and suffering is the human condition. It is not negative, it is realistic! Allowing someone to post on your Facebook wall, or take over a conversational thread, only furthers their hold on your life. You may need to block the person from contacting you by email as well.
If the person doesn't respect your boundaries, and continues to try to contact you after repeated blocks and lack of response on your part, you may need to seek additional help. Remember that you don't owe them an explanation. Deciding what your boundaries are, who you are going to spend time with, and who you choose to avoid, are all personal decisions that each individual has the right to make for herself. You don't have to explain your decision to anyone unless you feel like it.
It's best to keep it short. A longer explanation can quickly become a debate about whether or not you're right, when all you really need to do is tell them calmly that you've decided to end the friendship. Method 2. Consider hearing them out and being there for them. Reflect on a time when you were struggling with something difficult and how that made you feel.
This person may be going through a rough time and simply be in need of someone to listen to them. Try showing some empathy and validating their feelings before rushing to judgment. For example, perhaps the person just got out of a long-term relationship and is feeling hopeless about their prospects for finding a loving partner.
Do you want to talk about it? Understand the reason for the person's negativity. Recognizing why they're being so negative can help you deal with them better. Usually negativity comes from one of 3 basic fears: the fear of being disrespected, the fear of not being loved, and the fear that something bad is going to happen.
Try addressing the area of concern rather than the specific complaint. For example, if your negative friend is complaining about the way her boss treats her, she might be concerned about her financial security if she loses her job and her pride or self-esteem if she's being treated negatively. Rather than engage in complaints about her boss, focus on the economic upturn in your local economy, or that her job has a lot of room for growth. Keep it light. Some people find it hard to talk about certain topics without quickly becoming negative.
If you're trying to avoid negative people, stay away from those topics that are likely to deteriorate into complaints and self-pity. If a topic like this comes up, quickly steer the conversation into lighter ground. Try talking about the latest movie you've seen, happy news, or your hobbies might help your friend be more positive.
Have compassion for yourself through this process. If you don't allow yourself to become derailed by self-judgment, you'll be more able to successfully navigate your friendship. Find common ground. If you realize that your friend is just offering their perspective, or not being intentionally manipulative, it may be easier for you to find the common ground in what they've said.
Often, resistance and disagreement encourages negative spirals of conversation that can be avoided simply by identifying with something the person has said. On the other hand, if your husband says, "Shut up, I'm not finished," and you say, "I didn't interrupt, and you're a jerk," you'll only escalate the negative tension. Seek the help of a mediator or therapist. They can help you figure out more effective ways to respond to this person.
Sometimes the key is recognizing that it's okay not to agree about everything. People can have different perspectives and still get along, as long as those perspectives are both reasonable and based in somewhat similar values.
The issue isn't the fact of the problem in the relationship, but the way in which the couple chooses to handle it. Control your response to the negative person. Journaling, meditation, and yoga have all been shown to be effective tools in handling ongoing relationships with negative people. Using mindfulness exercises to bring your attention to your own response, rather than reacting to the actions of the negative person, have been shown to be successful in clinical research conducted by psychologists.
This research suggests that regardless of the actions of another person, it's possible to manage your own response and minimize the negative impact another person has upon your life. Method 3. Notice that someone is a negative person.
The first step in avoiding negative people is to recognize when they're in your life. If you're consistently drained, depressed or exhausted after spending an hour with someone in your life, think about why this may be. Do you look forward to seeing the person?
Or are you spending time with them for other reasons, such as feeling sorry for the person or wanting to help them with difficult parts of their life?
Do I help them because I feel sorry for them? If I was just meeting them for the first time, would I want to be friends? Do they see themselves as a victim? Do they tend to get "stuck" on negative topics and exaggerate how bad things are? Do they seem to have an external locus of control, meaning that they feel powerless about their life and circumstances? Think about the way the person acts towards you.
Don't worry about why they act this way e. Focus on their behavior towards you now. Thinking about how the person treats you can help you consider whether you want to keep them in your life.
Do they make time for your point of view, or do they steamroll over you? Do they take you seriously if you say that their behavior is upsetting you or others? Have they ever called you names? Do they blame you for not doing or knowing things that you were never told about?
Identify what you enjoy about the person. So what should you do when faced with a negative friend, co-worker, family member or colleague? At first you listen, offering a compassionate ear and hoping their negativity is just a passing phase. After all, everyone has a bad day now and again. Maintain your emotional distance. Nor should you try to bright-side everything. Trying to convince someone to stop being negative may only challenge to them to amp up their hostility.
A difficult person is probably locked into a negative mindset that is part of the fabric of his or her personality. Negative people often have a demanding nature and put pressure on those close to them. Limit your expectations when dealing with them. When you do engage with them, use noncommittal language. Acknowledge their comments without endorsing what they are saying.
Agree with them as far as you can, then rephrase their complaints using less loaded language. You can't change their personality, but you might neutralize their toxic outlook. It is not your job to make an unhappy person happy. If you set out change a person overnight, you will fall short and may end up feeling disgruntled yourself.
The only person whose happiness you can control is your own. A fast way to annoy someone in a bad mood is telling him or her to be happy, so ditch the Pollyanna attitude and stop offering unsolicited advice.
Instead, provide a sympathetic and unjudging ear. If they ask to hear your thoughts, offer them gently and calmly. Ultimately, the best way to protect yourself emotionally from a negative person is to be secure and confident. Don't let a negative person cause you to doubt your abilities or undermine your desire to pursue your dreams. Related: People Hating on You? Setting boundaries is how you give yourself a break from an encroaching negative person. You need space where you can clear your head after dealing with someone who zaps you emotionally.
Contact them when you are calmer. Give yourself time to recharge your batteries so when you do deal with them, you have the endurance and patience to handle them with grace.
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